3 Tips to talk about your audience's pain points without causing them pain

Brand messages that resonate with your ideal customer avatar need to speak to their needs - their pain points, struggles, aspirations and desires.

Do you feel uncomfortable when you hear that you need to find your client’s pain points and then agitate them before you can sell to them?

Maybe you remember my previous post on writing posts that convert. If not, then click on the image to read more about a very effective copywriting structure that includes the “pain point” advice.

Almost every marketer, copywriter, sales coach, or business coach is sharing this advice – and yet, this advice doesn’t sit well with you because however often you hear it, it still gives you this icky feeling.

Feeling uncomfortable about agitating pain is completely natural and anyone with a good amount of empathy feels that causing other people pain is not ok.

The discomfort or worry that you are feeling is your subconscious mind alerting you that your actions may not be aligned with your purpose and beliefs.

After all, your business exists because you want to help people and want to free them of their pain. You want them to lead better, fuller, and more enjoyable lives.

Digging into their pain feels completely counterintuitive – yet, feeling pain (physical or psychological) has a purpose.

Why do we feel (emotional) pain?

Emotional pain is just as important as physical pain. It teaches us what situations to avoid to survive.

When you touch a hot surface, pain is the alarm system that alerts you to remove your hand from that surface.

When you feel rejected and that you don’t belong to a certain group, then this pain alerts you to the fact that as a social species we need to be part of a group to survive.

Pain teaches us what situations we should avoid to survive.

Tip #1 – Define and acknowledge the pain to ensure that your solution is what your audience needs

Just recently, my daughter had major reconstructive knee surgery and one thing that the surgeon did before the surgery - was to draw a few arrows on my daughter’s leg to pinpoint where the pain was located (and that they were operating on the correct knee).

Before that, he spoke with her, manipulated her knee, took an x-ray, ultrasound, and MRI scan. All to diagnose what exactly was wrong with her knee and how to proceed in order to fix it.

This process is quite similar to solutions that address emotional pain points.

Before you start working with a client, you need to know exactly what doesn’t work and how your clients are feeling.

This is not to torture them but to be as specific as possible so that you can provide a solution that works for their particular problem.

During that process, it is important to acknowledge your audience’s pain and be empathetic to their pain points.

The more they can tell you about their pain points, the better you can serve them - or refer them to a specialist who can.

Digging into your audience’s pain points is not about inflicting pain so that they are thankful when you help them to eliminate the pain…

It is about demonstrating your understanding, expertise, and knowledge and give them the confidence to trust you because you know what they are going through and because you have the exact right solution for them.

Defining and acknowledging your audience’s pain allows you to help your clients more effectively.

Tip #2 – Not every client is in pain – how can I show them that they need me?

Some services or products were not created to cure pain. They were created to help your clients to…

achieve more in life
to feel better and more fulfilled
to create a certain appearance
to elevate them to the next level
to become better at something
experience a higher level of proficiency
reach a new goal…

This kind of audience is not in pain, but they have dreams, aspirations, and desires.

When speaking to this kind of audience, you are speaking to their imagination and their dreams. A yearning that they feel deep inside.

Instead of digging into their pain, you are holding a mirror in front of them. You are showing them where they are now and what the starting point of their transformational journey is.

This type of audience needs you to travel from where they are now to where they want to be, and they want to do it quickly while enjoying the process.

Instead of pain points, you are talking to aspirations and desires.

Tip #3 – Touch the pain points to create belonging

There are different ways of talking about your audience’s pain. A “softer” approach to talking about your audience’s pain points is to share stories.

When you are sharing stories, you are not addressing your audience directly but you are sharing an experience.

You are not asking them questions like…

Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed out?
Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?
Are you being ignored online?

But you are telling them a story about yourself or another person who experienced the struggle they are going through.

Storytelling is a powerful tool to connect on an emotional level because it invites your audience to identify themselves with the story’s “hero” without putting them on the spot.

Storytelling feeds your audience’s natural desire to listen to stories.

Stories draw your audience in because they create a sense of belonging. Your clients are not the first to feel this pain. They are part of a group where they are heard, seen, acknowledge, and helped.

Although you are touching on your audience’s pain points, you are not calling them out. You are creating a path to a community that understands them and helps them solve their problems.

Instead of digging into the pain, you are giving them hope.

I hope that these three tips help you to see the whole “pain points” discussion in a more positive light.

Reframing the way of thinking and talking about pain points helps you to feel more congruent with how you feel and talk about your audience’s pain points.

To talk about your audience’s pain points, you need to have a detailed understanding of them

Just like my daughter’s surgeon poked, prodded, and manipulated my daughter’s knee, as well as exploring different diagnostic avenues – you need to explore your audience’s pain points, desires and aspirations.

It all comes back to one thing: you need to have a detailed picture of your customer avatar and understand them in some depth.

If that is something that you are struggling with – then drop me a message and we can talk about how I can help you with uncovering your audience’s pain points, struggles, desires, and aspirations.

Categories: Content Creation, Contentwriting, conversion copy, Copywriting tips, Copywritingskills, Strategy