How to influence without FOMO

Finding alignment through honouring your clients' real needs

The main reason why you need to share your content consistently and over a long time – is influence.

I don’t need to repeat the know -> like -> trust framework here as I assume that you are already familiar with it.

But just in case – and in only one sentence…

You need to earn people’s trust before they buy from you – or rather, you need to gradually build your influence with them so that they are convinced of the specific and distinguishable value that your service offers. And on top of that, you are also creating emotions and influencing how people feel about your brand.

How people feel about your brand is phenomenally important.


95% of all buying decisions are made emotionally!

Influence is driven by emotions - and it is important to understand what emotions lead to buying and how to create these emotions.

In the marketplace there are two main emotions that make people take action:   

The two main motivations why people do things…

(And that includes buying) – are fear and desire!

Many marketers find that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and scarcity are elements that every sales and marketing campaign needs to use.

They believe that they can use basic human needs for belonging, status, power, wealth, an advantage over others etc. and restrict availability to push people to make a buying decision.

This is a route that exerts pressure and can result in buyer’s remorse, regrets, and refunds (and you may be perceived as being mercenary and pushy).

In 2020 we all experienced how irrationally fear can influence people and lead them to bulk-buy and empty supermarket shelves of flour and toilet paper…

And if you have written a sales page or two, then you know that almost every template includes a section that urges you to use FOMO and scarcity.

When you think about it – how does this practice make you feel? Does it make you feel happy, passionate, and full of joy? Or does it make you feel stressed, pressured, pushed into a decision you were not quite ready to make?

Why feeling desire is so much better

How do you feel when you desire something?

There’s a sense of anticipation, of joy, passion, giddiness, excitement…

Quite likely your imagination has run away with you a few times and you have created vivid images of how you would look or feel after the purchase. There’s a wide range of feelings like relief, love, happiness, hope, that you anticipate and feel as if they were real.

But the main thing is – that you have come to your decisions and developed these positive feelings in your own time and after extensive deliberation.

Especially when the decision you have made is related to your business or personal development and when you are investing a substantial amount of money.

It feels so much better when you make a decision after a thorough evaluation of the offer (and the service provider) - and when you feel a large certainty of reaching your goals and working with someone who is in alignment with you and your beliefs.

It is easier to make a buying decision when you feel safe, understood, valued, and aligned.

But how and where do you need to align yourself with your audience?

To start with, you need to know what is important for you personally, who you are, what your values are, what your beliefs are and what your goals are so that you can feel fired up, engaged, and passionate about what you are doing (and what you are offering your audience).

You need to understand your internal or “intrinsic” needs and motivation.

What drives you, what do you find personally fulfilling and engaging? What makes you feel passionate, empowered and simply good inside?

These are all emotions that you create from within.

In addition to that, there are external or “extrinsic” needs that are linked to the interaction with other people. These are needs like money, status, power, influence, acknowledgement, accomplishment, achievement, acceptance, love…

When you want to influence others, you need to understand your needs and wants as well as you need to understand your clients’ – so that you can align them. So that your message can resonate with them because they feel that you understand and see them. That they feel a sense of belonging with you.

But let me illustrate…

Just 15 minutes ago, I received a message from someone I had just “met”:

“Awesome, I would love to help you reach your goals. I am confident you will do really well. We specialize in helping coaches just like you spend less time on your business and more time doing the things that you love while scaling to 6 to 7 figures. If you've ever been interested in getting more clients and want to scale up your business 6 to 7 figures, then we could jump on a call to see what your business could look like? You have nothing to lose, you will walk away with an absolutely free coaching session and strategy at least.”

Those who have been reading my content for a while will know that this kind of message does not resonate with me because the writer does not understand and align with my needs.

Had the writer built a relationship and understood my needs and desires, this conversation wouldn’t have stopped there.

The message didn’t resonate with me because it addressed extrinsic needs that don’t take priority. It made me feel misunderstood and did not speak to what I believe in, what I find intrinsically rewarding, and what gets me excited.

Had she come from a position of service, knowledge, and empowerment – we would have started a conversation.

But there’s another element that is essential for taking a conversation further:

Understanding your audience’s reality

With that, I mean that it is important to understand the scenarios that your audience is experiencing right now, what’s going on in their lives, what the wider context of their reality is.

A person could have some health issues, lost a loved one, bought a new house, started a new job, or a million other issues that can make this otherwise perfect client unreceptive to your message at this moment in time.

The reality your prospect is experiencing takes priority and even if they are totally aligned with your intrinsic and extrinsic needs, they might not take you up on your offer because it’s just not the right time for them.

Your audience not only needs to be aligned with your needs and values but also needs to be receptive and open to your message.

When intrinsic and extrinsic needs as well as your audience’s current reality are aligned with you -  then you can influence them and make them an offer that they can accept without FOMO.

This is also the reason why you need to be consistent with your content over a long period of time. You need to feed their minds when they are receptive to your messages and make them an offer when they are ready and all that’s going on in their background gives them enough space to work with you.

Influence through alignment…

In summary – if you want to influence your audience, you need to be aware of what both parties want and what desired outcomes align with both of you.

And you need to consider how your potential clients are experiencing their lives right now and how you can help them in this particular moment to achieve their goals and meet their needs.

My offer…

If you feel that you need to explore this topic further and that you would like to understand yourself and your clients better so that you can find that sweet spot of alignment – then send me a message.

The form is right below this post!

Categories: Brand Messaging, businesskills, Conversion, Credibility, Messaging, Sales, Selling

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