The signs of not showing up authentically - 4 signs that help you transform your online presence

How do you know that you are showing up authentically and what can you do if you're not?

Being congruent with yourself is important because your subconscious mind notices when your actions are not aligned with your beliefs, values, and your personality. There are a few signs that alert you that you are not showing up authentically.

When you're not congruent, i.e. not showing up authentically, it can be that you are caging yourself in and, as a consequence, run into some blocks.

Just to name a few...

The blocks you can run into

#1 - Writer's block

Because you're holding back, you're not expressing yourself like you would if you allowed yourself to speak freely.

You are censoring and editing your thoughts and you are putting a straitjacket on your honest opinion and the topics you're talking about.

You tone down your voice to make your opinions more palatable and, in the end, you get into a stage where you restrict your mind so much that you get blocked and find it hard to create content.

#2 – Connecting with people

You let the “algorithm” dictate whom you’re connecting with.

It is true that you should write content for a very specific group of people that you would like to work with. And because experts tell us that you should focus only on a narrow section of the general audience to attract your perfect clients – and that is, by the way, a belief that I share – and – here comes the tricky part - only accept connection requests from people who are part of your target audience.

But here’s where I think differently:

Take the time to review the profile and start a conversation with those who don’t match your perfect search criteria – you might discover that these people do have a need and/or have a network with people who would be ideal clients for you.

Besides the fact that every genuine connection is an enrichment to your life. If you are creating high-quality content and have a service mindset, then you want to make sure that as many people as possible profit from reading your content.

#3 – Smothering the fire and the fun

Do you remember when you were a kid and the joy you felt in acting at the spur of the moment? Doing things that were not always wise, but they definitely were fun and even sometimes got you into trouble.

Spontaneity is part of living authentically. Enthusiastically acting on desires that give you pleasure without thinking of the advantages or consequences. Enjoying the process of doing something that gives you pleasure at the moment. Embracing an activity that is not scheduled into your agenda but that fires you up, gives you energy, and feeds your joy of life.

Far too often you do what is expected of you and what you defined as an action that you need to take to follow your strategy.

Again, that is something that I totally support. But I also think that it’s important to let the inner child out every now and then and give yourself some grace to do something that is not part of your strategic plan but serves no other purpose than giving you joy and allowing you to express your true authentic self at that moment.

Sometimes it’s good not to run your mind through every filter of how you may be perceived or whether your action or words make you belong to a certain group, whether it is the perfect thing to say or do.

Acting spontaneously and not holding back is a way of expressing your true authentic self and the joy you’ll be emanating is contagious.

Don’t think about other people’s judgement and what they think about your actions – after all, acting authentically is part of expressing yourself creatively and allowing you to pursue what is meaningful to you – even if that’s enjoying a precious moment of living without boundaries and regrets.

Still, you don’t want to forget about others. Consider that the content and the messages that you send out are targeted at other people. They are created to communicate and, more importantly, to have a conversation.

Limiting communication and stopping conversations

Communication is a two-way street. It requires one person to send a message and another to receive the message, process it, and respond to it.

When you are sharing authentic, high-quality content, people will engage and react to that content. They will comment, like, or silently process your content and follow up later.

Don’t be discouraged, some people don’t engage much. They are silently processing and getting back to you later. I am one of those. I need my time to consume and reflect and engage when I’m ready. It’s not laziness, it’s how I’m wired.

But many people like to engage with your content if it is meaningful enough for them and if it makes them think and process and then follow the desire to share their opinion and express themselves in a space of like-minded people.

When you are sharing content and you don’t get any engagement with your posts, then take another look at your content and ask yourself…

Does my content have a clear message or am I confusing people with my stream of thoughts?
Is my content well structured so that my audience completes a logical reading journey?
Does my content touch a topic that my audience finds meaningful?
Am I talking about shared experiences that my audience can relate to?
Am I holding back and not sharing issues and topics that are relevant to my audience because I fear being judged?
Am I inviting my audience in and making it easy for the to engage by adding a call to action or a question?
Do I use excuses like “I’m an introvert” and feel uncomfortable putting myself out there? (By the way – introverts can communicate really well because they spend a lot of time reflecting and processing. Their contributions are usually well thought out and hit the mark.)

So, take a look and check if you are offering a two-way conversation or whether you are just talking at people.

Not getting out of your comfort zone?

Talking about introverts. Or about HSPs (Highly Sensitive People)…

They feel really uncomfortable putting themselves out there and sharing authentically. Not just because they fear being judged but because the noise and bustle of being in the limelight are overwhelming to an extent that it shuts them down.

Remember, there is a difference between sharing things that are personal like…

Your beliefs
Your values
Your blunders
Your challenges
Your goals etc.

… and there are things that are private…

Your most private thoughts
Details about relationships with others (the juicy stuff that people want to hear but that is not yours to share)
Things that go deep but are not relevant to your audience
Things that could hurt others when you share them
Things that could hurt you when you share them

But still, it is important to get out of your comfort zone a little bit because growth needs challenges. Achieving your goals is hard when you are not prepared to grow. That implies that your goals are not meaningful enough for you to acknowledge and believe in your full potential.

You are the architect of your future and part of it is to put yourself out there and connect with people who support your growth.

Trying to be “too present”

Lately, I have increased my presence on LinkedIn but noticed that by doing that, I can’t and to a certain extent don’t want to be fully present on other platforms.

Being fully present means engaging with content and in DMs, going live, creating fancy slideshows and reels etc.

I noticed that it overwhelmed me and that it made me too busy and made me feel that I am constantly chasing something but never quite reaching and contributing to my goals because my heart wasn’t in it. It was simply exhausting.

I don’t want to be present because people tell me that I have to. I want to feel good about where I show up and then I can go all in and make it matter. And that gives me a sense of fulfilment rather than stress because I didn’t manage to complete all my tasks.

Not being all in on a platform makes me feel like I am just ticking a box because I have to and not getting an awful lot of fulfilment, pride, and achievement out of it.

And lastly…

I want to enjoy my online presence and the activities that let me show up authentically. I want to be all in and share my message and empower as many people as I can to find their messages so that they can go all in with passion and messages matter and allow them to grow themselves and their businesses to live more fulfilled and meaningful lives.

And if you need help with that…

Send me a message and we can talk about my programme and it can make that happen for you.

Categories: Authenticity, Brand Messaging, Brand Promise, Content Creation, Content Creation tips, Content tips, Contentwriting, Copywriting tips, Credibility, Engagement, Messaging